


Hypothesis

by patchworkofstars



Category: Sanders Sides, Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Science, The fluffiest science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 02:56:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13825017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patchworkofstars/pseuds/patchworkofstars
Summary: Logan has a hypothesis that physical contact between Sides will cause traits of each to influence the other. Naturally he needs the help of Virgil, Roman, and Patton to test it. Fluff ensues.





	1. Good Luck With That

_Hypothesis: Physical contact between Sides will cause traits of each to influence the other, similar to the effect observed when one Side spends time in another’s room._

_Method: Naturally, I plan to test this by instigating physical contact with each of my fellow amicable Sides in turn. To reduce the risk of confirmation bias, I will not tell any of them the true reason for the contact until the test is complete. I will instead find plausible alternative excuses. During the contact, I will seek to determine whether I am being influenced by traits not originating with me. I will also note any signs of the other Sides becoming temporarily more logical. I am aware of the inherent flaws in such subjective data gathering, but trust myself to remain as objective as possible._

* * * * *

Virgil was sitting on the living room sofa, which made things easier. He was wearing his big headphones and had his eyes shut, either meditating or deeply engrossed in music. Or perhaps that was the same thing, for him. Logan stood directly in front of him, touched him gently on one arm, then stepped back to avoid startling him too much. Virgil’s eyes snapped open and he visibly flinched, but he relaxed when he registered Logan standing there. He took off his headphones.

“What’s up, Teach?”

“I require your assistance with something, if you have a moment.”

“Yeah, I was just chilling. What do you need me for?”

Logan took a deep breath, mentally bracing himself for the string of falsehoods he was about the unleash. He disliked lying, but this was necessary. This was for science.

“I’ve been reading about how to lift someone up if they’re injured or unconscious. The physics of it interests me and I’d like to test it with someone.”

He’d crafted the lie carefully. Its logic wasn’t flawless, but he only needed to fool Anxiety, not himself. Even so, Virgil didn’t look convinced.  
“Why don’t you ask one of the others? Why me?”

“Because Roman sees picking up princes as his job. And because Patton...” He broke off, trying not to picture it.

“...Because Patton would treat it as hug time”, finished Virgil, giving him a half-smile. “Yeah, I get it. Logical.”

Logan sighed inwardly with relief. That was the first hurdle safely surmounted. Now for the second.

“If you’re willing to cooperate”, he said, “Please lie down on the floor, on your back, trying to make your body as limp as possible.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Please, Virgil. You’re the only one rational enough for me to test this on. I’ll be very careful, and I’ll stop if you’re uncomfortable.”

“Fine, whatever.” Virgil sighed. “At least I get to pretend to be asleep.” Lethargically, he shifted from the sofa down onto the floor.

 

It might have worked, had Logan not been so distracted by what he was really testing for. Or maybe it wouldn’t. In any case, after several excruciating minutes of fruitless grappling he suddenly felt Virgil grab his arm and pin him in place.

“Got you. Now tell me what this is really about.”

Logan could feel himself starting to sweat. He’d always had, thankfully, more subdued emotions than the others, but even so he felt nervous. Or perhaps that was due to the physical contact with Virgil?

“Wh… What do you mean…?”

“The truth, Logan. Right now, or I’ll call the others.”

“No! Fine, I’ll explain.” Logan sighed. “But let’s get out of this position first.”

 

A few minutes later they sat side by side on the sofa, Virgil turning the truth over in his mind.

“So you have a theory...”

“A hypothesis. I don’t have enough evidence yet for a theory.”

“...a theory that if we touch each other, we’ll start to act like each other?”

“Essentially, yes.”

Virgil considered this. “Seems pretty vague for all that stress and effort. What gave you the idea, anyway?”

“Just an observation I made”, replied Logan, trying to sound nonchalant. “I’ve considered several possible explanations for it, but on balance this one seems the most plausible. After all, we’ve both previously experienced the influence other Sides’ rooms can exert over us.”

“Uh, sure…” Virgil grimaced, but his tiredness overwhelmed any curiosity. “I guess if you don’t mind all that work testing it, that’s up to you. I would be kind of interested to hear if it works.”

Logan adjusted his tie. “I appreciate that. If I manage to achieve significant results with the others, I shall certainly let you know.”

“I’m the first one you’ve tested it on?”

“Indeed.” Logan gave him a wry smile. “I have yet to fully devise tests for Roman and Patton. As we established earlier, there’s a greater risk of them misinterpreting any request for physical contact.”

Virgil raised his eyebrows. “So you’ve gotta think up different excuses for touching them? Good luck with that.”

Logan sighed. “I have an idea that might work with Roman, but it won’t be easy getting him alone. We generally avoid each other.”

Virgil went quiet for a long moment, and seemed to shrink into his hoodie. When he finally spoke, it was barely above a whisper. “I might know a way. I kind of have a theory of my own we could test.”  
“Oh?”

“I could write him a note.” Virgil compressed himself further into the seat and wouldn’t look at Logan. “If I ask him to meet me, he might come.”

* * * * *

_Experiment 1 Results: Either Virgil is smarter than I gave him credit for or he was being influenced by my reasoning skills. Results of this test were inconclusive, so I will definitely need to test the others before I can draw any conclusions. I hope Virgil’s idea for getting me alone with Roman will work. I must admit, I’m intrigued that he even believes it might._


	2. I’m Not Your Friend

Logan could feel the change in the air as soon as he left the room, but it took a moment for his eyes to detect the deeper shadow in the dark corridor. He shuddered.

“I know you’re there, Deceit.”

Deceit smiled nastily. “Hello to you too, Mr Popular. Did you think I wouldn’t hear what you said in there?”

“I said what I needed to for the noble cause of furthering knowledge. Besides, I told Virgil the truth in the end.”

“Of course, and you certainly didn’t miss mentioning a few inconvenient details. No lie of omission there, my friend.”

“I’m not your friend.”

Deceit feigned a shiver. “How cold. Well, I’m certainly not looking forward to hearing what you tell Creativity.”

“His name is Roman, and I’m sure you’re full of anticipation. However, I have no intention of lying to him. I have a genuine concern, albeit a minor one, that he could potentially help me with.”

“Oh? Deceit moved in closer, looking Logan straight in the eyes. “So you won’t lie? You’ll tell him everything? Every little detail?”

“It’s not a lie of omission if he doesn’t ask.” Logan scowled. “What would you know about the truth, anyway?”

Deceit chuckled ominously. “I have absolutely no idea. I would certainly never sneak into your room and read your notes.”

Logan glared at him, then turned and walked away with as much dignity as he could muster. Time to start locking up his notes. In the meantime, he would just have to be careful what he said to Roman. Luckily the prince was too self-absorbed to be much of a threat. After all, he wasn’t interested in anyone but himself, was he?


	3. After All, I’m A Star!

Roman had always been grandiloquent, and probably wouldn’t understand the words “reticent” or “taciturn” if Logan inscribed them on placards and hit him in the face with them. Still, his arrival, at precisely 3 pm, was outrageous even by his standards. He wore full princely regalia, crown included, flung open the living room door and strode in, singing at the top of his voice.

“Have no feeear, your prince is heeere~!!” His eyes scanned the room and fell upon Logan, seated awkwardly on the sofa.

“Oh”, he said, clearly disappointed. “It’s _you_. You, uh, haven’t seen Virgil around, have you?”

“Virgil couldn’t make it. He asked me to let you know.” Logan sniffed and frowned. “Are you wearing cologne?”

“It’s cinnamon and rose perfume, guaranteed to...” Roman blushed. “Well, never mind.”

He slumped down onto the sofa, took off his crown and placed it on the coffee table. For a long moment there was silence, while Roman fidgeted with embarrassment and Logan mentally reviewed this new and frankly _fascinating_ data.

“So...”, said Roman suddenly, interrupting Logan’s contemplation. “Did Sir Sulk-A-Lot chicken out, or was this all just a prank to humiliate me?”

Logan shrugged. “He’s _Anxiety_ , which do you think?”

Roman gave him a small smile. “Good point. Well, that’s something. Thanks, Logan.”

“You’re welcome. Incidentally, while you’re here I could use your help with something.”

“Oh” Roman grinned in surprise. “Professor Know-It-All needs _my_ help? That’s a first!”

Logan glared at him. “Don’t make this more irritating than it’s already going to be.”

“Fine”. Roman sighed. “I’ll help you if you keep quiet about...this. Don’t you dare tell Virgil what I just did.”

“Deal. Although I suggest that if you wish to spend time with him, you shouldn’t wait for the literal embodiment of anxiety to make the first move.” He ignored Roman’s blush. “Now, I’d appreciate your help with improving my public speaking.”

“Public speaking?!”

Logan adjusted his tie. “I’m aware that I sometimes bore people, despite the intrinsic brilliance of my knowledge. There are no flaws in what I say, so the problem must lie in the delivery. You rarely say anything worthwhile, yet you manage to hold everyone’s attention. Teach me how. Please?”

An infuriatingly smug smile spread over Roman’s face. “Personally I’m not sure you could ever be not-boring, but you’re right about one thing: If anyone can help you, it’s me.”

 

They stood facing each other, in the largest free space the room had to offer.

“When dealing with an audience, the most important thing is your attitude”, Roman began, adding a pirouette for good measure. “For me, the stage is my world and the world is my stage!”

“I’d noticed”, Logan said dryly.

“Of course you have, because I _always_ get my message across, even to people who don’t want to hear it!” He posed, typical Roman, arm outstretched for no logical reason. “After all, I’m a star!”

“Just get to the point.”

Roman shook his head. “ _There_! That attitude is the reason you’re no good at this! You must relax and engage with your audience. Lead them! Transfix them! Delight them! Without an audience, there is no show!”

Logan was beginning to doubt his ability to endure more than five minutes of Roman’s company, and, more importantly, whether this plan was going to work as he needed it to.

“Assume the audience is guaranteed and that I have something valuable to teach them. What then?”

“If you _must_ be boring about this… The first thing you have to remember is that your body language accounts for over half of what your audience will remember and believe.”

“Aha!” Logan was suddenly alert. “You’re referring to Mehrabian's 7%-38%-55% Rule, which states that...”

“…And you’re boring me already”, interrupted Roman. “ _Focus_ , Logan! _I’m_ the one in charge here. Unless you don’t _care_ if people tune out as soon as you open your mouth?”

Logan sighed inwardly. “I’m sorry”, he said reluctantly. “I got carried away for a moment there. I was essentially agreeing with you, anyway. Please, continue.”

Roman gave him a patronising smile. “Very well, your biggest flaw is that you’re always too serious. You need to convince the audience you’re relaxed and comfortable, so they’ll feel the same. Smile at them! Look each person in the eye for a brief moment so they’ll know you care about their presence. Don’t just glare at them with disdain.”

“You’re the only one I glare at with disdain, and that’s because you’re always so insufferable.”

“There! See!” Roman pointed at him in triumph.

“See what? You’re not making any sense, as usual.”

“You stand there with your arms at your sides. You hardly ever gesture at all, and when you do it’s practically robotic. You need to move more smoothly, and to make your gestures more varied.”

“Unnecessary movement is a waste of energy.”

“Is enthralling an audience unnecessary? Is capturing their _hearts_ unnecessary? Do you see no _value_ in making your every _utterance_ unforgettable to them?”

Enough. Logan was rapidly acquiring a headache. Seeing what could be his only chance, he seized it.

“I’m not sure I quite comprehend”, he said. “If I need to move differently, please demonstrate by positioning me so that I can commit the motions to procedural memory.”

 

It was a torturous few minutes, but as Roman pushed and prodded him into ridiculous positions, Logan was almost certain he felt an elevated sense of creativity. In fact, he suddenly had an idea… It was an irrefutably ridiculous idea, but perhaps that would be for the best when dealing with Patton.

“That will do for now”, he said, disentangling himself from Roman. “I understand the main principles involved.”

“Oh.” Roman was slightly taken aback. “Well, I’m glad you actually listened to me for once.”

“Incidentally… Could you do me another favour, and stay out of this room for this evening? And keep Virgil out, too.”

Roman frowned. “ _Another_ favour? And why do you want me out of the way? What are you up to?”

Logan froze for a second, mind racing to think of an excuse that wouldn’t get Deceit back on his case. The line got so blurred when it came to lies of omission.

“I hope to be conducting an experiment in here”, he said at last. “With Patton. I would appreciate it if you would stay out of the way to avoid influencing the results.”

“Hmm~?” Roman was looking at him strangely. “Well, if you say so! I certainly wouldn’t want to interrupt your time with Patton. Although I don’t know _why_ you think I’d be able to keep Virgil away. You know he never listens to me.”

Logan raised his eyebrows. “I’m sure you can think of a creative way to keep him occupied”, he said, and walked away, resisting the urge to look back and see Roman’s blush.

* * * * *

_Experiment 2 Results: The prince is stupid. El príncipe es estúpido. Le prince est stupide. O principe é estúpido. Prinsen er dum. 王子はバカ。_

_Nevertheless, I believe contact with Roman may have inadvertantly helped me formulate a plan to get Patton to initiate physical contact with me. It’s more elaborate a scheme than I would have created alone, but I believe it has a high probability of succeeding. Anything to avoid having to initiate physical contact with Patton myself…_


	4. Is This A Date?

It was time. Logan sighed to himself, dreading the task that lay before him. It wasn’t that he disliked spending time with Patton – quite the opposite, in fact – but he couldn’t help worrying what effect physical contact might have. He’d experienced increased anxiety while in contact with Virgil, but that might have been nervousness about testing his hypothesis. It seemed likely his contact with Roman was the source of inspiration for his idea for testing things with Patton, but if Patton touching him really did heighten his emotions… Things could get awkward. Even more awkward than with the others. In the end he wrote a brief note and slipped it quickly under Patton’s door, before he could change his mind.

_Patton,_

_I know we both enjoy Sherlock Holmes stories,_  
_but that you find reading books an effort. I have_  
_therefore concluded that it would be both logical and_  
_mutually enjoyable if I read one of the stories to you._  
_If you view this idea favourably, meet me at 8 pm_  
_this evening in the living room. Since the aim is_  
_relaxation, I will not object if you wear your cat onesie._

_Logan_

* * * * *

Patton did indeed wear his cat onesie, and he brought two steaming mugs of cocoa with mini marshmallows. But he gasped and almost dropped the drinks when he saw Logan.

“You’re wearing your unicorn onesie!” he squealed. “You never wear your onesie around me!”

Logan felt his face grow hot. “I… I thought it might help you relax”, he stammered, mentally adding: _And it seemed a good way to further increase the probability of you hugging me._

A look of awe spread over Patton’s face. “You mean you’re wearing it for _me_?” His voice dropped to a whisper. “You invited me here, and you dressed up for me… Is this a _date_?”

“NO!!” yelled Logan, leaping up, then immediately regretted it as Patton’s face fell. “I mean, I didn’t intend for it to be anything as formal as a date. I just thought it would be pleasant to spend some time together, relaxing.”

“Hmm~” Patton seemed unconvinced, but then his face broke into a broad grin. “Aww, who am I kidding? I can’t be mad at you when you look so gosh darn cute!”

He sat down carefully, put the mugs on coffee table, then patted the seat beside him. “Now, sit down and have a drink. I can’t wait to hear the story you’ve picked out for us.”

He smiled encouragingly up at Logan, who sat down mechanically, trying hard to suppress the thought that calling it a date would have _guaranteed_ physical contact. This was supposed to be about _science_ , damn it. The science of feelings, admittedly, but still science.

 

Logan was finding it unusually hard to concentrate on reading. The story itself - _The Sign of Four_ \- he had read a dozen times before without difficulty. Granted, this was his first time reading it aloud, but he’d had plenty of practice reading aloud from textbooks. The problem, he suspected, was Patton. With the whole remaining length of the sofa to choose from, he’d nevertheless snuggled up close to Logan, who could feel Patton’s warm, chocolatey breath on his cheek. It was...not unpleasant, but distracting. _Extremely_ distracting. So distracting, in fact, that he didn’t realise he’d stopped reading until Patton waved a hand in front of his eyes.

“What’s the matter, Loganberry?”

His eyes were so full of affection and concern that Logan couldn’t meet them.

“Must you sit so close to me? It’s making me rather warm in this outfit.” He paused. “Wait, what did you just call me?”

“Loganberry.” Patton grinned. “Because you’re soft, and sweet, and right now you’re bright red!”

“I’m… Well… What do you expect?! You’re practically sitting on my lap!”

“Do you want me to move?” asked Patton, rather sadly.

“Yeess?”

“You don’t seem too sure.”

Logan frowned. “I’m finding it difficult to be sure of anything right now.” He shook his head in confusion. “I believed my reasoning was sound, but there must have been an error somewhere. I didn’t experience anywhere near this extreme an effect with the others. In fact, I’m beginning to suspect my own subconscious motivations for formulating this hypothesis in the first place.”

“You...what?” Patton gazed at him blankly for a moment, baffled. Then he frowned. “Wait a minute… You’ve done this with the others?” He looked like he was about to cry.

“No! Not this!” Logan was sweating again, and this time Virgil was nowhere nearby. “I just wanted to test something… Listen to me, Patton, please?”

“Okay, I’ll listen.” Patton forced a smile. “Just tell me one thing… Did you wear your unicorn onesie with the others?”

“Hell no!!” Logan shuddered, then sighed resignedly. “I think it’s time I told you the truth. But first, could you move just slightly? So that you’re not touching me.”

 

He told Patton the truth. The whole truth, this time, not the carefully-edited version he’d given Virgil. All about his hypothesis, but also about the odd sensations that had lead him to formulate it in the first place. And he told him everything he’d done with the others, so Patton would know… What? That there was nothing to be jealous of? The very thought was absurd.

Patton listened seriously, nodding as if he understood. And when Logan had finished, he gave him a much happier smile. Logan sighed inwardly with relief.

“I may not be logical”, Patton said thoughtfully, “But I do know a lot about feelings. Want to me to tell you what I think?”

Logan nodded. “I would appreciate hearing your opinion.”

“The others only influence you when you’re touching them, right? And then only a little?”

“That is correct. With you, however, I find myself experiencing a variety of highly illogical emotions simply by being in your general vicinity.” He swallowed. “In fact, if I’m honest, the mere thought of you is sufficient to cause some entirely irrational feelings. My research has produced some interesting results, but they by no means explain this reaction. Can you?”

He risked a glance at Patton, and found him staring open-mouthed. Logan looked away quickly. He could feel his blush expanding, creeping out to the tips of his ears, down his neck… Even his fingers turned red.

“It’s okay if you don’t know the reason”, he said awkwardly, his eyes fixed on his cocoa mug. “I won’t think any less of you.”

There was silence for several seconds, until Logan could endure it no longer and risked another glance at his friend. Patton was gazing at him with a kind of giddy delight, eyes wide, hands clapped across his mouth as though to contain an audible eruption of sheer glee. Meeting Logan’s eyes, he removed his hands and squealed.

“You have a crush on me!!”

“Wait, what? No! That makes no sense!” The words were out before Logan could stop them, but to his relief Patton looked amused rather than upset.

“Sense or not, I’m the feelings expert and you are showing all the signs of a classic, Category A crush.” He giggled. “That’s A for Adorable, because you are!”

Logan frowned, trying to view the possibility objectively, as though it didn’t directly concern him. “Are you sure? This is one subject I seem to have neglected to adequately research.”

Patton grinned. “Who needs research? I know this stuff from experience.”

“From Thomas’ experience of having crushes?”

“Sure, but also from my own.” He slid closer to Logan again, his own face turning slightly pink. “I’ve had a crush on you for a long time, you know.”

“I…wasn’t aware of that.” Logan frowned again. “Does that mean I have a similar effect on you?”

“Well of course you do! You’re smart, and handsome, and you know all kinds of cool things. Plus you make some great dad jokes, even if you don’t mean to!”

Logan cleared his throat. It was incredible how every time he thought his body had reached its limit for blushing, it somehow managed to get even redder.

“Flattering though that is, Patton, we can’t assume behaviour that makes sense for someone with your psychological profile will necessarily be the same for me. I always behave with the utmost rationality.”

“Well, sure you do, Logan, if it’s rational for you to be sitting here dressed as a unicorn, looking at me like you want me to kiss you.” Patton tilted his head to one side. “Do you want me to kiss you?”

Logan swallowed. “I… I think I might. It could be educational.”

Patton reached out, carefully removing Logan’s glasses and placing them on the table. Logan focused on his elevated heart rate, trying to will it to slow down, but instead it accelerated even further as Patton leaned in and kissed him.

* * * * *

_Experiment 3 Results: Patton is remarkably adept at kissing. Unfortunately my objectivity in recording data may have been compromised. Fortunately I’ll have another opportunity on Saturday night, when we have arranged to repeat the experiment. I plan to continue reading to him from The Sign of Four, since we never actually finished it. Patton has promised to bake cookies, and to sit with his arm around me. For science, of course._


End file.
